“- Peerless Pauline: You're the man I've been dreaming of!
- J. Cheever Loophole: What do you eat before you go to bed?”
Eve Arden - Peerless Pauline
Groucho Marx - J. Cheever Loophole

“- Noelle: He has this small personal habit that just drives me crazy.
- Abby: What's that?
- Noelle: He loves you.”
Uma Thurman - Noelle
Janeane Garofalo - Abby

“It takes so many things to make love last. But most of all, it takes respect, and I can't live with a man I don't respect.”
Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson

“You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!”
Steve Carrell - Andy

“I'm just a kid, and I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. But I think you should know better when you're all grown up. I think you should know how to act, and how to treat people. And I think if you once loved someone enough to marry them, you should at least be nice to them, even if you don't love them anymore.”
Drew Barrymore - Casey Brodsky