“Statistically, the chance of a plane going down because of turbulence is less than what, one in a billion? Or is it a million? I can't remember if it's...”

Arjay Smith - Brian Parks

“- Emily Walburn: Apparently he had a little accident.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants.
- Emily Walburn: Well maybe that's because he's six.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Because he's six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.”
Karyn Parsons - Emily Walburn
Damon Wayans - Maj. Benson Payne

“First thing on the list of what Americans say they hate: work; second, traffic; third, missing socks.”
Dustin Hoffman - Professor Jules Hilbert

“- Dr. Gaius Baltar: You know, I've never known you to play the optimist. Why the change of heart?
- Number Six: Mathematics. Law of averages. Let a complex system repeat itself long enough and eventually something surprising might occur. That, too, is in God's plan.”
James Callis - Dr. Gaius Baltar
Tricia Helfer - Number Six

“My favorite statistic is discovering that the murder rate had gone down by 20%. The coverage that is, how many murders are on the evening news it went up by 600%.”
Barry Glassner - Himself