“- Ed Bloom - Senior: Havin' a kidchanges everything. There's burping, the midnightfeeding, and the changing.
- Will Bloom: You do any of that?
- Ed Bloom - Senior: No. But I hear it's terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill his head with nonsense, and still it turns out perfectly fine.”
Albert Finney - Ed Bloom - Senior
Billy Crudup - Will Bloom

“I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine.”
Steve Martin - George Banks

“In my experience, parents often see their children as they want them to be, not as they are.”
Peter Stormare - Dr. Solomon Eddie

“There are no illegitimate children in this world; only illegitimate parents!”
Joan Plowright - Mary Wallace

“Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we're going to destroy our son's delusions, I should be a part of it.”
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin