“- Toula Portokalos: Ma?
- Maria Portokalos: What?
- Toula Portokalos: Why do I have to go to Greek school?
- Maria Portokalos: When you get married, don't you wanna write your mother in law a letter?”
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos

“I certainly had him pegged wrong, didn’t I? I thought he was just a rat, but he was a super rat all along - a super rat in rat’s clothing”
Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly

“- George Peters: I told you I was a married man with two children.
- Doris: You're not?
- George Peters: I'm a married man with three children... I thought it would make me seem less married. All right, I didn't think it through, all right? There's been like a lead weight inside me all morning. I mean, denying little Debbie like that!”
Alan Alda - George Peters
Ellen Burstyn - Doris

- Jane Smith: My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
- John Smith: Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?
- Jane Smith: Paid actor.
- John Smith: I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!
Angelina Jolie - Jane Smith
Brad Pitt - John Smith

- Maria Portokalos: Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom."
- Toula Portokalos: Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.
Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos