“- Sara McDowel: What did you have in mind?
- Harris K. Telemacher: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A.
- Sara McDowel: That's the first fifteen minutes, then what?”
Victoria Tennant - Sara McDowel
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

“There was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!”
Luke Wilson - Joe Bauers

“The cultural environment in which one lives ought to be as important as the air he breathes, the food he eats.”
Željko Ivanek - Mr. Cleary

I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos

“- Maria Portokalos: It's a cake! I know! Thank you! Thank you very, very much.
- Maria Portokalos: [whispering to Aunt Freida] There's a hole in this cake!”

Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos