“I've got the Jewish guilt and the Irish shame and it's a hell of a job distinguishing which is which.”
Kevin Kline

- Barry: Hey Dante! My girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night.
- Dante: No shit? And by “girlfriend" do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick every night?
- Barry: [laughing hysterically] Yes.
Jonah Hill - Barry
Peter Dante - Dante

“- George Banks: You look like you're enjoying seeing me in here.
- Nina Banks: Enjoying? Do you think it's enjoyable to get a phone call telling you to come down to the police station because your husband's been arrested for stealing hot dog buns?”
Steve Martin - George Banks
Diane Keaton - Nina Banks

“O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not my enemiestriumph over me.”

Barry Pepper - Private Jackson

“- Rose DeWitt Bukater: I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste. I can't imagine Monsieur Monet blushing.
- Jack Dawson: He does landscapes.”

Kate Winslet - Rose Dewitt Bukater
Leonardo DiCaprio - Jack Dawson