“If Florence Nightingale had ever nursed you, Mr. Whiteside, she would have married Jack the Ripper instead of founding the Red Cross!”

Mary Wickes - Miss Preen

“I've been offered a choice between no job and a job no one would want.”
Jack Nicholson - Will Randall

“- Catherine Langford: Translation: ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs. Interested?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: I-I'm gonna go now.
- Catherine Langford: Go where? I mean, you've just been evicted out of your apartment, your grants have run out: everything you own are in those two bags. You wanna prove that your theories are right? This is your chance.”
Viveca Lindfors - Catherine Langford
James Spader - Dr. Daniel Jackson

“- The Detective: Today's your lucky day. I'm feeling generous. I'm gonna give you a choice. You and your boys can do one more job. A bank, a nice big one, for free. You're just going to hire a new driver, that's all. A good one.
- Glasses: I don't work with cops.”
Bruce Dern - The Detective
Joseph Walsh - Glasses

“Damn she got in a fight with a hairdryer, and the hairdryer won.”
Jamie Kennedy - Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman