“- Emilio Lopez: How can I thank you?
- Longfellow Deeds: All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.
- Emilio Lopez: Deeds! How about a billion dollars?
- Longfellow Deeds: Alright.”
John Turturro - Emilio Lopez
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“- Joe Bradley: Irving! Am I glad to see you!
- Irving Radovich: Why? Did you forget your wallet?”
Gregory Peck - Joe Bradley
Eddie Albert - Irving Radovich

“- Rizzo the Rat: I sold my collection of rare cheese to buy you this crystal petri dish for your mold collection.
- The Great Gonzo: I sold my mold collection to buy you this diamond-tipped cheese slicer.
- Rizzo the Rat: Did you save the receipt?”
Steve Whitmire - Rizzo the Rat
Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo

“- Jack Brown: Why me? Of all the stuff in the store, why did you pick me?
- Eric Bates: You made me laugh. I wanted a friend who made me laugh.
- Jack Brown: So of all the toys in the store you wanted a friend. If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.”

Richard Pryor - Jack Brown
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates

“- John Sculley: But if you want me to stay, you can't have Steve. Settle him out. He can keep a share of stock so he gets our newsletter. I'd like the secretary to call for a vote.
- Steve Jobs: I fucking dare you.”

Jeff Daniels - John Sculley
Michael Fassbender - Steve Jobs