“- Cleopatra: Welcome.
- Herod: I hope to renew an old friendship.
- Cleopatra: I hope so too.
- Herod: Well, time has made you older and wiser - and me younger and more beautiful.”
Claudette Colbert - Cleopatra
Joseph Schildkraut - Herod

“- Al Connelly: You slept with a sixty year old?
- Eddie Hicks: Hey, when you work in the physical therapy industry - you make friends fast.”
Freddie Prinze Jr. - Al Connelly
Shawn Hatosy - Eddie Hicks

- Brodie: My Grandmother always used to say "why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free?".
- TS Quint: She didn't!
- Brodie: All the time, before she became a lesbian on her 60th Birthday, but that's besides the point.
Jason Lee - Brodie
Jeremy London - TS Quint

“- Indiana Jones: It's disgraceful, you're old enough to be her... her grandfather.
- Professor Henry Jones: Well, I'm as human as the next man.”

Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones
Sir Sean Connery - Professor Henry Jones

“My love, tonight we will celebrate this ecstatic joining of our spirits with the union of our aching bodies.”

Gene Hackman - William B. Tensy