“- Kim Wheeler: I'm just taking an interest in your Iife, as your stepmom.
- Dorothy Wheeler: When you're oId enough to rent a car, we can discuss your roIe as my stepmother. In the meantime, don't taIk about my sex Iife.
- Kim Wheeler: You? Have a sex life?
- Dorothy Wheeler: I do. But I don't charge by the hour Iike you.”
Benita Ha - Kim Wheeler
Jessica Capshaw - Dorothy Wheeler

“- Donna: Did you hear that sick sound?
- Cozzie: Yeah, it was creepy. Probably your mom howling out her anti-sex warning.”
Trish Doolan - Donna
Gene Bicknell - Cozzie

“I made love to your mother about half an hour ago, and now I'm beginning to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea.”

Thomas Jay Ryan - Henry Fool

“- Newton's Mother: Newton! What are you doing up there?
- Newton: I'm up in my room with some friends, Mom!
- Hailey: I want to have your baby.”

David Cross - Newton
Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine - Hailey

“- Mike O'Hara: I heard Manute Bol is banging your mom!
- Jimmy Flaherty: Manute Bol! Your mom!
- Lewis Scott: That's whitey.”
Daniel Stern - Mike O'Hara
Dan Aykroyd - Jimmy Flaherty
Damon Wayans - Lewis Scott