“- Cosmo: There I was in prison. And one day I helped a couple of nice older gentlemen make some free telephone calls. They turned out to be, let us say, good family men.
- Bishop: Organized crime?
- Cosmo: Hah. Don't kid yourself. It's not that organized.”
Ben Kingsley - Cosmo
Robert Redford - Bishop

“- Lloyd: I'm going to be your hostage, then they have to reason with you. I'm your guarantee.
- Putter: Like when you buy a car.
- Ophelia: That's a warranty.”

Keith Gordon - Lloyd
Yeardley Smith - Putter
Martha Gehman - Ophelia

“- Kermit the Frog: Now if we want to get Miss Piggy out of jail, we're gonna have to catch those thieves red-handed...yes, Beau?
- Beauregard: What color are their hands now?”

Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Dave Goelz - Beauregard

“- Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he sells a bit of weed every now and again, you know. You've sold puff.
- Pete: Yeah. Once. At college. To you.”
Simon Pegg - Shaun
Peter Serafinowicz - Pete

“I was wondering if I could purchase some heroin and then we could go out and do some hatecrimes and stuff.”
Chris Kattan - Corky Romano