“- Buck Russell: How many times a day does the dog eat?
- Cindy Russell: How many times do you think?
- Buck Russell: I don't know, four or five.
- Cindy Russell: He eats once a day.”
John Candy - Buck Russell
Elaine Bromka - Cindy Russell

“- John Billings: I say we drink the wine, eat the dogs, and use the paper for musket wading.
- Reverend Oliver: [alarmed] Eat the dogs?
- Benjamin Martin: [going along with John Billings' joke] A dog is a fine meal.”
Leon Rippy - John Billings
Rene Auberjonois - Reverend Oliver
Mel Gibson - Benjamin Martin

“My babies can run and eat at the same time!”

John McLiam - Orval

“- Rocco Melonchek: What a charming little animal.
- Lillian Oglethorpe: Do you know dogs, Mister Melonchek?
- Rocco Melonchek: Know dogs? I used to be a chef in a Korean restaurant!”

Mel Smith - Rocco Melonchek
Nancy Marchand - Lillian Oglethorpe

“- Colt: I'm Colt because I'm fast, he's Rocky because he's solid and he's Tum Tum because he'll eat anything.
- Tum Tum: I won't eat dog poop.”
Max Elliott Slade - Colt
Chad Power - Tum Tum