“- Maida: It says here that the water planet has so much moisture on its surface that it continuously creates cycles of clouds and falling rain.
- Killjoy: Sure. You know what that means. That means that we will both be able to take hot wet baths together.”
Anjelica Huston - Maida
John Matuszak - Killjoy

“- Whore: Hi, Tom. You wanna play carnival?
- Det. Tom Spellacy: I don't know that one.
- Whore: I sit on your face,and you try to guess my weight!”
Louisa Moritz - Whore
Robert Duvall - Det. Tom Spellacy

“- Howard T. Duck: What is this place?
- Beverly Switzler: Cleveland?
- Howard T. Duck: Cleveland? That's a perfect name for this weird planet!
- Beverly Switzler: You don't know the name of the planet? The planet's called Earth, I think. And I'm obviously in some weird nightmare.
- Howard T. Duck: Your nightmare... or mine?”
Chip Zien - Howard T. Duck
Lea Thompson - Beverly Switzler

“I finally meet the right guy, and he's from another planet.”
Daphne Ashbrook - Dr. Grace Holloway

“If you can't tend to your own planet, you don't deserve to live here.”
Ron Silver - Phil Gordian