“I can't believe I'm talking to the same Sean Armstrong that I traveled all over this great country with. A man of strength and courage, who defeated every vile, vulgar opponent he ever faced. And now, this fearless giant is cowering because of two little innocent children!”
Sherman Hemsley - Burt Wilson

“- The Voice: Why are you even here Randy? You'll never be the leading man.
- Randy Meeks: Fuck you!
- The Voice: No matter how hard you try you'll never be the hero and you'll never ever get the girl.”

Roger Jackson - The Voice
Jamie Kennedy - Randy Meeks

“It's not the altitude, it's the attitude.”
Jake Gyllenhaal - Scott Fischer

“- Grandmother: No one acts this way when they are not on drugs...
- Elizabeth: I fucking do!”

Sheila Paterson - Grandmother
Christina Ricci - Elizabeth

- David "Beano" Baggot: Are you still a road dog, Hughie?
- Hughie: Nah. The last tour I did was ten years ago. It was Aerosmith, but they've gone and cleaned up their act. It's all wheatgrass juice and fuckin' pumpkin seeds. I hope you guys are still crazy, or I'm outta here.
Timothy Spall - David "Beano" Baggot
Billy Connolly - Hughie