“- Marion Sandusky: You made my wife cry when she reads the paper.
- Michael McDougal: At least she bought it, didn't she?”
Jason Alexander - Marion Sandusky
Randy Quaid - Michael McDougal

“As long as the press sees sex and drugs behind the left hand, you can park a battle carrier behind the right hand and no one's gonna fucking notice.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Gust Avrakotos

“- Mario: Are you spendin' money on this stuff? Look at this!
- Luigi: Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.
- Mario: Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.”

Bob Hoskins - Mario Mario
John Leguizamo - Luigi Mario

“- Railway Official: There's still fifty miles of track to be laid between here and Allabahad.
- Phileas Fogg: But the London newspapers announced the opening of this railway throughout.
- Railway Official: That must have been The Daily Telegraph. Never would have read that in The Times.”
Ronald Colman - Great Indian Peninsular Railway Official
David Niven - Phileas Fogg

“What is news? It's hard to quantify. Certainly news has changed completely, and the morning shows are not really designed to bring you the news, except to tell you what happened overnight, and the rest of it is a kind of magazine mentality - a little bit of this, a little bit of that. It's harder to be an educated and informed citizen.”
Harrison Ford