“- Joel Barish: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
- Clementine Kruczynski: Try your best; maybe we can.”

Jim Carrey - Joel Barish
Kate Winslet - Clementine Kruczynski

“I don't think I can be with someone who doesn't like animals and thinks I'm a mental person.”

Kate Hudson - Andie Anderson

“Four-and-a-half years I live wit' a buddy an' his family. I think I'm diggin' a guy's character... Boy, I'm a victim of disappointment in you.”
Russ Tamblyn - Riff

“The thing is, how can I be there for her if I don't even have my thing figured out? You know?”
Ashton Kutcher - Oliver Martin

“- Mary: What are you thinking?
- Isaac: I dunno, I was just thinking. There must be something wrong with me, because I've never had a relationship with a woman that's lasted longer than the one between Hitler and Eva Braun.”
Diane Keaton - Mary
Woody Allen - Isaac