“- Cop: Ma'am, are you aware that it's against the law to possess animals of a barnyard nature in a residential area?
- Miranda Hillard: What if you're married to one?”
Ralph Peduto - Cop
Sally Field - Miranda Hillard

“- Helen 'Mama' Boucher: Bobby, deh ever catch dat gorilla that busted outa da zoo and punched you in da eye?
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: No Mama, the search continues.”
Kathy Bates - Helen 'Mama' Boucher
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.

“My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.

“- Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state?
- Clark Griswold: No, sir, I don't.
- Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff.”
James Keach - Motorcycle Cop
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Kellie Frost: They say it's not when you get hurt bull ridin', it's how bad.
- Lane Frost: Naa, the bulls don't want nothin' to do with ya. They just wanna buck you off and get on with there business. A'sides... people'll heard you a lot sooner.”
Cynthia Geary - Kellie Frost
Luke Perry - Lane Frost