“Kids, dadblast 'em! They're gonna lead you to ruin. That's what they're gonna do, lead you to ruin. They cry at you when they're young, they yell at you when they're older, they borrow from you when they're middle-aged and they leave you alone to die.”
Ray Walston - Poopdeck Pappy

“Please don't ruin my childhood.”

Cameron Bright - Joey Naylor

“My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Lester Bangs

“- Buddy Bragg: Here ma'am. Let me help you with these. Beautiful young lady like you shouldn't be carrying groceries. Let a man do that for you.
- Parking Lot Woman: Now, I didn't ask you for help, so don't expect a tip.
- Buddy Bragg: Oh, that's okay ma'am. I'll just take your car.”
Ving Rhames - Buddy Bragg
Susan Hatfield - Parking Lot Woman

“- Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury: After all that this family has done for you, and this is how you behave?
- Ferguson: Well, yeah, so I guess I won't be getting that Employee of The Year Award, after all, eh?”
Jonathan Hyde - Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury
Chelcie Ross - Ferguson