“- Felix Ungar: They've probably got poisonous spiders out here.
- Oscar Madison: Get out of here, what are they gonna live on? You think they're waiting around for two schmucks like us to show up?”
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“We're going outside? Without a human? Could be kind of dangerous, you know, in a lethally sort of way.”

Glenne Headly - Zootie

“- Luiz: So you're going to the Amazon? That place is wild!
- Blu: I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle. Wait, how wild?
- Nico: There's snakes that swallow you whole.
- Pedro: Mosquitoes that suck out your blood like a Slurpee.
- Luiz: Flesh-eating piranhas that eat... flesh.”
Tracy Morgan - Luiz
Jesse Eisenberg - Blu
Jamie Foxx - Nico
Will.i.am - Pedro

“Everybody panic! Oh my God, there's a bear loose in the coliseum! There will be no refunds! Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love the tendermeat!”
Will Ferrell - Jackie Moon

“- Young Bambi: What happened, Mother? Why did we all run?
- Bambi's Mother: Man was in the forest.”
Donnie Dunagan - Young Bambi
Paula Winslowe - Bambi's Mother