- Tommy Five-Tone: Did I miss anything?
- Hudson Hawk: Gates tries to blackmail me, you ask me "Did I miss anything?". Gates gets killed, you say "Did I miss anything?". I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at the Ford Theatre and said "How was the show? Did I miss anything?".
Danny Aiello - Tommy Five-Tone
Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk

“It's a man's duty to instruct a woman in all subjects.”
Dennis Morgan - Wyn Strafford

“A lawyer has a duty to his profession and to himself.”
James Stephenson - Howard Joyce

“- Pinocchio: Am I a real boy?
- The Blue Fairy: No, Pinocchio. To make Geppetto's wish come true will be entirely up to you.”
Evelyn Venable - The Blue Fairy
Dickie Jones - Pinocchio

“- Mr. Ixnay: He makes love to beautiful women, drinks champagne, enjoys life and never works. He makes speeches to the people promising them plenty, gives them nothing and takes everything. That's a Dictator.
- Curly Gallstone: A parasite. That's for me.”

Richard Fiske - Mr. Ixnay
Curly Howard - Curly Gallstone