“You see, parents aren't allowed to tell the truth about certain things. Now don't cry.”

Earl Pastko - Mr. Skin (a.k.a. Satan)

“- Julian: I mean, come on. Can't you tell when I'm telling the truth?
- Benjamin Wells: No. Trust was the first thing you ruined.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Julian
Nicholas Pryor - Benjamin Wells

“The trouble with kids is they always figure they're smarter than their parents.”
William Demarest - Constable Edmund Kockenlocker

“- Michael Cromwell: You sound like an idiot.
- Richard Kempster: I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.”

Tim Allen - Michael Cromwell
Martin Hayter Short - Richard Kempster

“We don't just mediate between warring partners. We also check up the child itself psychologically. How does the child deal with the conflicts? Our advice is always binding. Don't take this the wrong way, but you left them. They didn't leave you. You left for another woman. For now, we see no reason to give you custody.”

Nelly Frijda - Dr. Ellis K.P.R.