Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, "catch up".

Uma Thurman - Mia Wallace

“- Park Cheol-woong: We put a hypnosis-inducing drug in your water.
- Dae-su Oh: Sodium barbiturate?
- Park Cheol-woong: Ha! TV Man knows it all!”
Dal-su Oh - Park Cheol-woong
Min-sik Choi - Dae-su Oh

“I hope they have cable. I can't watch regular TV without drugs.”

Walter Matthau - Donald Becker

“- Corky Romano: I never thought I'd live to see the day that an FBI agent would be peddling smack.
- Agent Brick Davis: Don't act so surprised. J. Edgar Hoover used to wear a dress.
- Corky Romano: Just tell me why, Brick.
- Agent Brick Davis: I don't know. I suppose it made him feel sexy.
- Corky Romano: Not Hoover. You!”
Chris Kattan - Corky Romano
Matthew Glave - Agent Brick Davis

“- Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir, what's your name?
- Pedro: Whut? I told you my name, man!
- Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir... what's your name?
- Pedro: [to Man] Hey man! The dude wants to know your name, man!
- Pedro: [Man vomits onto the floor of the car] Uuhhh - His name is Raalllph, man!”
Arthur Roberts - Arresting Officer
Cheech Marin - Pedro De Pacas