“- Sue O'Malley: What are you majoring in?
- Joel: Russian literature and Slavic languages.
- Sue O'Malley: Oh wow, that's pretty interesting. What career track is that?
- Joel: Cabby, hot dog vendor, marijuana delivery guy. The world is my oyster.”
Paige Howard - Sue O'Malley
Martin Starr - Joel

“- Elle Woods: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
- Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods
James Read - Elle's Father

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener

“- Shaun: I have to go to college.
- Cindy: Why?
- Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Catherine O'Hara - Cindy Beugler

“I'm sorry you didn't get into Stanford. But if you think that going here is the only way that you can be the person you want to be, well, then I just feel sorry for you.”
Schuyler Fisk - Ashley