“- Herman: If you can't solve a traffic accident, what are you gonna do if a crime happens?
- Harry: Now boys, don't be riding Danny too hard. He's out to lead this town. We're lucky to have him. A Masters Degree in Criminology. Big cities fighting over him, and he comes back to his old home town to help us poor folks out.”
Michael Currie - Herman
Robert Englund - Harry

“We can surgically remove him from the air like a tumor.”

Malcom McDowell - Col. F.E. Cochrane

“I'm afraid if I shared your wine, I might catch this awful disease you appear to have.”

William Richert - Bob Pigeon

“I wouldn't dance with you even if you didn't look like a sabertooth tiger. Bitch!”

Mario Joyner - Tom McNeal

“You can flush your manhood down the toilet.”

Rick Zumwalt - Joshua