“- Bernadette: We've only recently discovered that young Anthony here, bats for both teams.
- Mitzi: I do not!
- Felicia: Oh, so we're straight?
- Mitzi: No.
- Felicia: Oh, we're not. So we're a donut puncher, after all?
- Mitzi: No.
- Felicia: Then what the hell are we?
- Mitzi: I don't fuckin' know.”
Terence Stamp - Bernadette
Hugo Weaving - Mitzi
Guy Pearce - Felicia

When I was in the cubs there was this porn mag being passed around and all the other kids were deciding which girl they liked and stuff... and this other kid, he whispers to me "I don't know what all the fuss is about, I'd rather see another boy's willy anytime!". So I said "So would I!".

Ben Silverstone - Steven Carter

“- Emily Montgomery: Are you really gay?
- Howard Brackett: Hmm-hmm...
- Emily Montgomery: Was there... any other time you might've told me this? I'm wearing a wedding dress, which you picked out!”
Joan Cusack - Emily Montgomery
Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett

“Howard, we want you to know: you're our son, and we'll always love you, gay, straight, red, green, if you rob a bank, if you kill someone.”

Debbie Reynolds - Berniece Brackett

“- Howard Brackett: He's just never had a physical relationship with her.
- Father Tim: Never? In three years?
- Howard Brackett: He respects her.
- Father Tim: He's gay!”

Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett
Joseph Maher - Father Tim