“Do you really think inside your mind that because you swing your ass around on stage and you hit a couple of high notes here and there, that you are some colossal success?”

Max Beesley - Julian Dice

“Actually, when I was in my 20s and 30s I was like a crooner. As a matter of fact, a lot of people thought I was better than Sinatra.”
Andrew Dice Clay - Lorenzo

“Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.”
Alicia Silverstone - Cher

“- Michael Bolton: At least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
- Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.
- Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.”
David Herman - Michael Bolton
Ajay Naidu - Samir

“- Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
- Fogell: Yeah.
- Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?”
Michael Cera - Evan
Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Fogell