“- Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
- Billy Madison: No, you don't.
- Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!
- Billy Madison: No, they didn't.”
Chris Farley - Bus Driver
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

- Jackie: I just don't believe it. I refuse.
- Charles W. Grimes: My assistant now used to say "truth is less fun than fiction".
- Jackie: Terry would never do that!
- Claire Kubik: Oh, you're screwin' him so you know him?
- Jackie: Excuse me, Mrs Ron Chapman!
Amanda Peet - Jackie
Morgan Freeman - Charles W. Grimes
Ashley Judd - Claire Kubik

“- Jonathan: I don't know Manolo, I think it's hopeless. I'm never going to get laid!
- Professor: Although that thought may be of great comfort to the women of the world Mr. Moore, as a future veterinarian, you should know that every dog eventually has his day.”
Anthony Edwards - Jonathan
David Wohl - Professor

“Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.”
Henry Winkler - Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli

“- Edward Fletcher-Wooten: How do you know so much about so much?
- Nick Mercer: I’m a hooker.”
Jack Davenport - Edward Fletcher-Wooten
Dermot Mulroney - Nick Mercer