“- Jack Putter: Did you hear that?
- Waiting Room Patient: Hear what?
- Jack Putter: You didn't hear that then?
- Waiting Room Patient: No, I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Are you feeling all right?
- Jack Putter: Would I be in a doctor's office if I was feeling all right?”

Martin Hayter Short - Jack Putter
Andrea Martin - Waiting Room Patient

“- Alice Kingsleigh: Where am I?
- Addison Bennett: Let me see, excitable, prone to fantasy, textbook case of female hysteria. Untreatable, some say. I beg to differ. We’ll have her fixed in no time.”

Mia Wasikowska - Alice in Wondeland
Andrew Scott - Dr. Addison Bennett

“- Egbert Sousé: Hello, Doc. How are ya? How's business?
- Dr. Stall: Fair, fair. I don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping cough epidemic again.”
W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé
Harlan Briggs - Dr. Stall

“- Peter Kirk: Are there many lady doctors?
- Helen Hunt: A few.
- Peter Kirk: As beautiful as you?
- Helen Hunt: No doubt.
- Peter Kirk: The time I've wasted being well.”
Henry Fonda - Peter Kirk
Barbara Stanwyck - Helen Hunt

“- Dr. Einstein: I cannot operate without a drink!
- Jonathan Brewster: Pull yourself together, doctor!
- Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!”
Peter Lorre - Dr. Einstein
Raymond Massey - Jonathan Brewster