“- Navin: Mommy, Daddy! How did you find me?
- Father: We don't know. This is the first place we looked.”
Steve Martin - Navin
Richard Ward - Father

“One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Luck! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!”
Tommy Lee Jones - Two-Face

“- Dexter Reed: I bet you don't have one real problem, do you?
- Ed: I have six toes on my left foot. What kind of problems do you have, Dexter?
- Dexter Reed: Other than the ones you caused? A lot. Most of them started when I was a kid when my parents split up.”
Kel Mitchell - Ed
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed

“Everybody's parents fucked them up. Rich kids parents gave them too much. Poor kids, not enough. You know, too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them or they stuck around and taught them the wrong things.”
Ethan Hawke - Jesse

“- Vic: Well, I can think of a problem that's a good deal more important and you, as a parent, are ignoring it completely.
- Earl Keese: What?
- Vic: What is Elaine doing about sex? Is she getting probed?”
Dan Aykroyd - Vic
John Belushi - Earl Keese