- Granny Klump: Cletus, have you ever heard the expression "mercy hump"?
- Papa Klump: Say what?
- Granny Klump: 'Cause that's what you've been getting all these years - mercy humps.
Eddie Murphy - Granny Klump
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump

“Listen up limp dick as for you pitiful knowledge of what a real women wants. I’m not going to waste my time on some loser who doesn’t even know what snowblowing is. It has to be said my new boyfriend he's in high school and every time we talk about you he laughs his ass off about you.”
Jena Malone - Anna Harrison

“- Louis Gara: I just felt strange, you know, I thought, if she was your girlfriend...
- Ordell Robbie: But you fucked her anyway? Well, I hope you felt appropriately guilty about it afterwards.
- Louis Gara: Afterwards, I did.”

Robert De Niro - Louis Gara
Samuel L. Jackson - Ordell Robbie

“When a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”
Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander

“Lorraine, you have been in Mr. Smith's arms. Nothing like that must ever happen again, it embarrasses me. You're my wife, and he's a murderer.”
Peter Lorre - Stephen Danel