“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and I'll give ya something to cry about you little bastard!”

Jeff Goldblum - Mitchell Kane

“The other day, I was watching a commercial with a kid playing with a couple of puppies, I cried for forty five minutes! You slap a pair of tits on me, I'm a woman!”
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!”
Susan Sarandon - Louise

“- Dr. Diane Turner: Ever since the women's movement, most of the men I meet go out of their way to show you how sensitive they are. Before, they were too macho, and now they're too... soft. You all want us to know you can cry.
- Thornton Melon: No, with women, I never cry. Never. I beg.”
Sally Kellerman - Dr. Diane Turner
Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

“It's in the Kabbalah. Women understand the world better than men do. And that is why they weep more often.”
Rena Sofer - Shayna