- Judge Cotton: Does this guy "Candy" Johnson bother you, my dear?
- Elizabeth Cotton: Not half as much as I bother him.
Frank Morgan - Judge Cotton
Lana Turner - Elizabeth Cotton

- Jean: I don't see why I have to do all the dirty work. There must be plenty of rich old dames just waiting for you to push them around.
- "Colonel" Harrington: You find them, I'll push them.
Barbara Stanwyck - Jean
Charles Coburn - "Colonel" Harrington

“Is that your real hair or did you scalp an angel?”

Bob Hope - Larry Haines

“She was a waitress at a jazz bar. I'd sit in her section, wouldn't let anybody else serve me. She's change sections, I'd change tables. Persistance that's the key.”

Hugh Laurie - Captain James Biggs

“The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. It's a very patriotic bird.”
Chandler McIntyre - Naturalist