“- Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl: I have a girl of nine who won't listen to what's right. She always does what's wrong. What should I do?
- Larry Haines: Wait ten years, and if there's no improvement... send me her number.”

Nell Craig - Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl
Bob Hope - Larry Haines

“Men are pretty much like children after all. Have you ever seen two kids wrestling in the yard? They push and they tussle and maybe they look like they're fighting... but they're not. They're really friends and everything is fun. Then pretty soon they play a little too rough. One of them gets mad. And in the end, somebody always gets hurt.”

Walter Huston - Doc Holliday

“The end of my innocence and childhood began in 1957. It is remarkable to me now just how little I knew then about the people around me. It took me years to figure out exactly what the truth was, especially given my brother's knack at inventing facts.”

Michael Keaton - Narrator

“- Lynn Bracken: Where did this come from?
- Bud White: When I was twelve, my old man went after my mother with a bottle. I got in the way.
- Lynn Bracken: So you saved her.
- Bud White: Not for long.”

Kim Basinger - Lynn Bracken
Russell Crowe - Bud White

“- Vince McCain: What about a small advance on my inheritance?
- Rod McCain: What inheritance?
- Vince McCain: I'm your son! You have to leave me something.
- Rod McCain: Why?
- Vince McCain: 'Cause you screwed up my whole childhood!
- Rod McCain: How could I have? I wasn't even there.”

Kevin Kline - Vince McCain
Kevin Kline - Rod McCain