“- Anna Coleman: Fresh air will do you good.
- Harry Coleman: But what about bullies?
- Anna Coleman: Run fast.”
Lindsay Lohan - Anna Coleman
Ryan Malgarini - Harry Coleman

“- Bad Boy: So you thought you could make it around the block? So now I'm supposed to be scared of a water pistol?
- Louis: There ain't no water in this gun.
- Bad Boy: So what's in it?
- Louis: Piss!”

Sean Kelso - Bad Boy
Fred Savage - Louis

“What's the matter? You're pacing like an expectant father with the clap.”
Bill Murray - Tripper

“I didn't tell anyone at school that I was a transvestite, because I was afraid they'd kill me with sticks.”
Eddie Izzard - Himself

“- Lester Bangs: Are you like the star of your school?
- William Miller: They hate me.
- Lester Bangs: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Lester Bangs
Patrick Fugit - William Miller