“You got a dick. You do have a dick, don't you? Okay, the dick lines up straight like that right? To the right of it and to the left of it are pockets, right? In those pockets are money. Look in either one of 'em, pay the bill.”
“- Jackie Willow: Sarge! I need another favor. - Sgt. Clell Hazard: Great. Let's see... you got my money, you got my car. I guess now you need my dick to seal the deal!”
D.B. Sweeney - Jackie Willow
James Caan - Sgt. Clell Hazard
- Brian: God bless you. - Larry Gigli: Thank you. - Brian: No, not you, stupid. When my penis sneezes, I say "God bless you, penis".
Justin Bartha - Brian
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli
“That's why these lesbians are always going out and buyin', spendin' all their dough on sexual appliances and erotic monkey wrenches and shit, tryin' to compensate for what they don't have... the penis.”
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli
“After all, without sex, none of us would be born. And we are all born out of a woman's cunt. It is the center of the world. And the more we can do to glorify that holy spot, the more we're doing for mankind.”
Molly Parker - Florence
“- Terry Thorne: So what are you ladies celebrating? - Dino: Life, liberty, and the ability to purchase clitoris.”
Russell Crowe - Terry Thorne
David Caruso - Dino
