“- Idgie Threadgoode: I can't believe he swore on the Bible!
- Ruth Jamison: Well, if that judge had looked any closer, he'd have seen that it was a copy of Moby Dick.”
Mary Stuart Masterson - Idgie Threadgoode
Mary-Louise Parker - Ruth Jamison

“Susan, when I married you the first time I only did it to get in your pants. Now I'm doing it because I want to spend the rest of my life getting into your pants.”
Garry Shandling - Harold Anderson

“- Nerd student: Have you adhered strictly to your vow of celibacy?
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: Yes, I have.
- Nerd student: Me too.
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: I'm not surprised. Mine was by choice.”
Willie Garson - Nerd student
Leslie William Nielsen - Father Jebedaiah Mayii

“- Father Seamus: Tell me. Is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?
- Charlie McManus: I wouldn't know... I must come clean, though, I, I had a man in my bed last night. All night. You see, the way I see it, sex is allowed.”
Tom Hickey - Father Seamus
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Princess Aura: My father has never kept a vow in his life!
- Dale Arden: I can't help that, Aura. Keeping our word is one of the things that make us... better than you.”
Ornella Muti - Princess Aura
Melody Anderson - Dale Arden