“- Kemper: We gotta call the cops.
- Morgan: Police officers, please, as you inspect a crime scene, which is now our van, please, ignore the colorful pinata, filled with marijuana, in case you happen to come across it, because it played no part, you know, whatsoever in the demise of this unfortunate, young woman.”

Eric Balfour - Kemper
Jonathan Tucker - Morgan

“- Professor Plum: Is there gonna be a cover up?
- Wadsworth: Isn't that in the public interest? What could be gained by exposure?
- Professor Plum: But is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after a multiple murder?
- Wadsworth: Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover?”
Chris Lloyd - Professor Plum
Tim Curry - Wadsworth

“- Lady Margaret Carstairs: I shall report you both to Scotland Yard.
- Inspector Lestrade: ...But I am Scotland Yard.”
Mary Forbes - Lady Margaret Carstairs
Dennis Hoey - Inspector Lestrade

“- Prof. William Kilbane: You come pounding on this door again and I'll have the law on you.
- Inspector Lestrade: I am the law.
- Prof. William Kilbane: Then stop barging in and out of my room like a chambermaid.”
Frederick Worlock - Prof. William Kilbane
Dennis Hoey - Inspector Lestrade

“Three cops for a councilman's son, but no one for this dead girl.”
Barbara Gehring - Lt. 'Hawk' Hawkins