“- Marcy Tizard: Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
- Sean Kelly: No, it's like being constantly right.”
Janeane Garofalo - Marcy Tizard
David O'Hara - Sean Kelly

“- Buff: I've been making these tapes, you know, video tapes. I ripped off a camcorder up at the mall and I thought, you know, it could be something that I do, be a video artist, you know.
- Tim: Ladies and gentlemen, Buff, the postmodern idiot savant. He willl outdo us all.”
Steve Zahn - Buff
Nicky Katt - Tim

“- Chester Lee: My name is Chester, I'm great, I'm wonderful! Everybody likes me!
- Redneck: Hey, Chester. My name's Harland, and to me you look like a giant asshole.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Chester Lee
Michael K. Osborn - Redneck

“Next time you address me, you will call me Al Hajji Idi Amin Dada, Field Marshal, MC, DSO, CBE - the Conqueror of the British Empire!”
Joseph Olita - Idi Amin

“- Sir Guy of Gisbourne: What is your name?
- Much-the-Miller's-Son: A better one than yours!”
Basil Rathbone - Sir Guy of Gisbourne
Herbert Mundin - Much-the-Miller's-Son