“Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list.”
Hank Azaria

“Oh, Stanley. I don't know how to explain. A wedding. A church wedding. Well it's, it's what every girl dreams of. A bridal dress, the orange blossoms, the music. It's something lovely to remember all the rest of her life. And something for us to remember too.”

Joan Bennett - Ellie Banks

“- Principal Evelyn Doyle: I inherited the business from my late husband.
- Richard Clark: I'm shocked!
- Principal Evelyn Doyle: What? That a woman can run a business?
- Richard Clark: No. That you were ever married.”
Louise Fletcher - Principal Evelyn Doyle
Jon Lovitz - Richard Clark

“I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name.”
Bridget Fonda - Eleanor Lightbody

- Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"
- Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos