“Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma.”
Frank Morgan - The Wizard of Oz

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener

“- Shaun: I have to go to college.
- Cindy: Why?
- Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Catherine O'Hara - Cindy Beugler

“I'm sorry you didn't get into Stanford. But if you think that going here is the only way that you can be the person you want to be, well, then I just feel sorry for you.”
Schuyler Fisk - Ashley

“- Frank Beardsley: William, what have you got there?
- William Beardsley: Academy applications, S.A.T. forms, Capital Summer Hill entry forms, and the number of the girl two houses down.
- Frank Beardsley: Outstanding!”
Dennis Quaid - Frank Beardsley
Sean Faris - William Beardsley