When I'm hanging out with a woman, that's all I'm doing is hanging out, talking, listening. I'm not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with her. And this completely confuses them because they're saying "Wait a minute. I'm so much better looking than this guy. Isn't he attracted to me?".

Donal Logue - Dex

“You have to do something excellent in her presence, thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness.”
Donal Logue - Dex

It was only a couple weeks later she suggested getting married. I said, "Don't you want to get to know me more?". She said, "Why? Does it get better?".

Billy Bob Thornton - Ed Crane

“- Halley Martin: I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you.
- Macon Forrester: What kind of logic is that?
- Halley Martin: It's logical logic. Haven't you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?”
Mandy Moore - Halley Martin
Trent Ford - Macon Forrester

“- Peevy: You got a good thing goin' on with that girl, Clifford. And I'm tellin' you right now, if she flies the coop, it's gonna be your fault.
- Cliff: What do you know about women, Peev? You haven't had a date since 1932.
- Peevy: Flora Maxwell. There wasn't any point datin' nobody after her.”

Alan Arkin - Peevy
Billy Campbell - Cliff