“Santa's not coming for you. He was shot down by the Russians.”

Karin Konoval - Billy's Mother

“- Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick!
- Ellen Griswold: Oh, we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake.
- Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude?”
Imogene Coca - Aunt Edna
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“Vermont must be beautiful this time of year...all that snow!”
Vera-Ellen - Judy Haynes

“Dear Santa, how are you? I'm not doing so well. There's this really, really bad man, Ebner Frost, who lives up on the hill... He's got these weird people working for him and I think they're gonna do something really bad this Christmas.”
Aria Noelle Curzon - Elizabeth

“- Howard Langston: You guys are nothing but a bunch of sleazy conmen in red suits.
- Mall Santa: What did you call us?
- Howard Langston: You heard me right. Conmen. Thieves. Degenerates. Low-lifes. Thugs. Criminals!
- Mall Santa: At the North Pole, them are fightin' words, partner.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Howard Langston
Jim Belushi - Mall Santa