“- Mary Todd Lincoln: Stephen Douglas has arrived. Listen to them cheering for him!
- Abe Lincoln: They ought to cheer. He paid them enough for it.”

Ruth Gordon - Mary Todd Lincoln
Raymond Massey - Abe Lincoln

“We shall now have tea and speak of absurdities.”
Philip Ahn - Third Uncle

“- Beverly R. Sutphin: I'm so happy I could shit.
- Beverly: Chip, you know how I hate the brown word.”
Matthew Lillard - Chip
Kathleen Turner - Beverly R. Sutphin

“- Cousin Eddie: I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.
- Clark Griswold: Thanks for the pick me up Eddie.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Cowboy: [cheering] Whoo! All right, Warriors!
- Vermin: Them cats were some desperate dudes.
- Cowboy: [laughs] Hey, so was we!
- Ajax: But even fight, we can take 'um!
- Ajax: Bunch of chicken-shits!
- Cowboy: Those cats didn't look too chicken-shit to me.
- Vermin: Me either.”

Tom McKitterick - Cowboy
Terry Michos - Vermin
James Remar - Ajax