“- Miracle Max: It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
- Inigo Montoya: What's that?
- Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.”
Billy Crystal - Miracle Max
Mandy Patinkin - Inigo Montoya

“- Joan Stupid: Oh dear I left the garbage out over night.
- Stanley Stupid: Oh no. Someone's stolen our garbage again.”
Jessica Lundy - Joan Stupid
Tom Arnold - Stanley Stupid

“- Policeman: This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender. How will you ever top yourself?
- Evil Sender: With a crime so unthinkable that no-one has ever dared to attempt to attempt it: to rob an entire nation of its garbage.
- Policeman: The one resource no-one ever thinks to protect!”
Scott Kraft - Policeman
Sir Christopher Lee - Evil Sender

“Nobody steals from me. Nobody.”
Louis Mandylor - Riggi

“Try any sleight of hand with my money and I'll cut your throat.”
Jean Reno - Krieger