“- Prostitute: I'll give you a discount.
- Roy O'Bannon: That's the most romantic thing a woman has ever said to me.”
Alison King - Prostitute
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“Let me tell you something. You can continue to live in your little fantasy world with your baseball cards and the autographed bullshit or whatever the fuck is it you do, but me, I got to eat and pay the rent. Phone sex is acting, and if you don't like it, you can step.”

Theresa Randle - Girl 6

“You want to know what I do for a living? Ask me. My time is very expensive, Mr. MacMillan. Probably more than yours. I get 500 dollars an hour. How much do you get? I get four-hundred dollars for a straight lay, three-hundred for a hand job, and five-hundred for head. If you want to wear my panties, that's another hundred.”

Barbra Streisand - Claudia Draper

“- Cookie: How come you got all this money?
- Harry Block: I always keep hooker money around, you know, 'cause I once paid by check years ago and the I.R.S. killed me.”
Hazelle Goodman - Cookie
Woody Allen - Harry Block

“- Alex: You've been spending our rent money on Filipino hookers?
- Josh: They're not hookers! They're massage therapists.”
Allen Covert - Alex
Jonathan Loughran - Josh