“- Tyler: Why don't you fly? It's faster.
- Zev Gutman: I don't know [laughs].
- Tyler: [smiles] That's not a good reason.
- Zev Gutman: [laughs] You're a real whipperschnapper aren't you?”

Peter DaCunha - Tyler
Christopher Plummer - Zev Gutman

“- Crawl: Hey, you'll be happy to know that as soon as you left, I popped your daughter's trunk!
- Walter: Oh, shit.”
Pauly Shore - Crawl
Lane Smith - Walter Warner

“You will soon take a giant 12-inch cock up your ass. In bed. I don't know, somehow... it didn't make mine any funnier.”

Sarah Polley - Harper Sloane

“- Grandpa Gustafson: I have been to Hawaii.
- Mama Ragetti: Oh yeah? Which island?
- Grandpa Gustafson: Come on I wanna lay ya.
- Mama Ragetti: I find you disgusting.
- Grandpa Gustafson: Well, just as long as you find me.”
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson
Ann Morgan Guilbert - Mama Ragetti

“- Evelyn Couch: Ed... If I'd answered the door wearing only cellophane, would you still be watching the baseball game?
- Ed Couch: No, honey, I'd probably be checking you into a loony bin.”
Kathy Bates - Evelyn Couch
Gailard Sartain - Ed Couch