“- Adam: Kwantsu Dudes!
- Johnny: Wow, they really must like that word.
- Adam: Yeah, it probably means like... free beer, or something.”

Nicolas Cowan - Adam
Ernie Reyes Jr. - Johnny

“He's dumb, but a loveable shit.”

Jackie Gleason - Buford T. Justice

“- Matty: You aren't too smart, are you? I like that in a man.
- Ned: What else do you like? Lazy? Ugly? Horny? I got 'em all.
- Matty: You don't look lazy.”
Kathleen Turner - Matty Walker
William Hurt - Ned Racine

“I used to think you were a swell guy. Well, to be honest, I thought you were an imbecile. But then I figured out you were a swell guy... A little slow, maybe, but a swell guy. Well, maybe you're not so slow, But you're not so swell either. And it looks like you're an imbecile after all!”

Jennifer Jason Leigh - Amy Archer

“Fact: Alcohol kills brain cells. You lose one more and you're a talking monkey.”

Mark Harmon - Freddy Shoop