“You bitch! Why didn't you just tell me it was a Rum and Coke?!”

Tom Cruise - Brian Flanagan

From a Marine in Da Nang: "Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead man's balls”. I have no idea what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me.

Forest Whitaker - Edward Garlick

“Every day they are told they are worthless, beyond hope.”

Marisa Tomei - Gwen Kolinsky

“- Roman: How about the gourmet here, you know what he wanted? Hotdogs! You know what they make those things out of, Chet? You know? Lips and assholes!
- Chet: Hahaha I guess I'm old-fashioned I like assholes.
- Roman: Ha and I like lips! kisses Connie's lips If I could market lips like those I would make another million.”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig
John Candy - Chet Ripley

“- Mr. Grover: If you're a detective, I'm a monkey's uncle.
- Wolf J. Flywheel: Keep your family out of this!”
Douglass Dumbrille - Mr. Grover
Groucho Marx - Wolf J. Flywheel