“- Sandy's Sister: Mom's blind in one eye, deaf in one ear.
- Sandy Bates: Oh. I hope the same side of the head, right? Because that's important. So she's even. She should be even at that age.”
Anne De Salvo - Sandy's Sister
Woody Allen - Sandy Bates

“Great. I'm blind and you're deaf. What a perfect pair.”
Val Kilmer - Virgil Adamson

“Gods are like old people. You think they are deaf, but they are not.”
Sarel Bok - Xhabbo

- Sam Simms: Don't just stand there. Say "Hello".
- Luke Davenport: Hello!
- Sam Simms: Just make the girl go deaf. They love that.
Sinbad - Sam Simms
Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport

“Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination.”
Adam Goldberg - Tony