“- Real Toby: So, how do you cope with loneliness?
- Real Harvey: Did I say I watch television?”
Toby Radloff - Real Toby
Harvey Pekar - Real Harvey

“- Simone: Sometimes they fall for what they think I am.
- George: And what do they think you are?
- Simone: What you think. A black whore.”
Cathy Tyson - Simone
Bob Hoskins - George

“What planet are you from, sugar tits? Saturn with the rings around your head?”

Penn Fraser Jillette - Bone

“- Rob: This is the Governor's wife!
- Deke Halliday: You mean she's not the hooker?
- Baxter: I told you not to wear those heels, darling.”
Dennis Dugan - Rob
Dick Shawn - Deke Halliday
Sir Michael Caine - Baxter

“- Marie-Antoinette: Where does she come from?
- Aunt Sophie: From every bed in Paris.”

Kirsten Dunst - Marie-Antoinette
Shirley Henderson - Aunt Sophie